Last year's was better.

Holiday Lines

Ignooore meeeee.

Whoops. Double posted.

Women in movies

Stolen from smartgirlsdostupidthings.com

In Helen Mirren's brilliant, moving, inspiring acceptance speech at a recent Women in Hollywood event, she delivered a forceful rebuke of Hollywood's obsession with "the 18 to 25-year-old male…and his penis (quite small, I always think)."

Mirren lamented the "fact that virtually every drama made for film, stage or television has 20 male characters to the one, two, maybe three if you're lucky, female characters."

I decided to test Mirren's supposition against the recently released Golden Globe nominations. This is obviously not a cross-section of all that TV or film has to offer, but The Golden Globes represent an industry standard of perceived quality. Consequently, Mirren would be more likely to find roles of substance in these nominees, than in, for example, The Bachelorette, 90210 or The Back-Up Plan.

A word on methodology: The statistics below are based on the official cast lists presented on each show's network website. Rather than using my own judgement (or the judgment of IMDB, Wikipedia, etc) to decide which characters merit inclusion, I wanted to see how each network officially depicted its cast. For example, AMC's Mad Men site names 27 characters, 12 of whom are female, netting a "score" of 44%.

Best Television Series (Drama):
Boardwalk Empire (27% of listed characters are female)
Dexter (29%)
Walking Dead (33%)
Mad Men (44%)
The Good Wife (50%)
Best Television Series (Drama) AVERAGE: 37%

Best Television Series (Comedy):
The Big Bang Theory (20%)
30 Rock (33%)
Modern Family (40%)
The Big C (43%)
Nurse Jackie (44%)
Glee (64%)
Best Television Series (Comedy) AVERAGE: 41%

Yikes. One drama achieves gender parity in its casting, The Good Wife, a project from husband-wife team Robert and Michelle King. Michelle King is the only female "creator" of the five drama nominees. Even shows created by women (30 Rock, The Big C, Nurse Jackie) favor roles for male actors. Although the comedy category average is not quite as dire as the dramas, this average is hugely helped by Glee, the only nominated show with more female characters than male (without Glee, the category averages 36%).

On to the big screen.

Best Motion Picture (Drama):
Black Swan (80%)
The Fighter (40%)
Inception (22%)
The King's Speech (22%)
The Social Network (29%)
Best Motion Picture (Drama) AVERAGE: 39%

Best Motion Picture (Comedy):
Alice in Wonderland (75%)
Burlesque (44%)
The Kids Are All Right (60%)
Red (33%)
The Tourist (14%)

Best Motion Picture (Comedy) AVERAGE: 45%

The differences in category averages between big and small screens are only a few percentage points, but the distribution within categories don't line up. Film, it would seem, allows for one or two female-driven pictures. Black Swan, set in a dance studio, starring 4 women and 1 man, would be this year's entry.

The point is not for all productions to reserve exactly half of their roles for women (or minorities, the elderly, or any other oft-neglected demographic). Some shows are aimed at women (SATC) and others at men (Entourage) and their casting reflects this fact. The problem is that what we identify as quality, via awards shows like the Golden Globes, distinctly favors male actors. This creates a cycle in which male-dominated productions are considered the "norm," and gender-neutral casts or female-heavy casts are relegated to niche markets or less popular networks.

One could argue that Hollywood reflects reality…most police departments are male-dominated, as are boxing rings, and tech-start ups. That is both true and problematic. Yet, the question remains; why are the male-dominated arenas the ones in which people prefer to play creatively? Because women (self very much included!) will watch a show or movie set in a "male world," but men will not reciprocate? Projects set in traditionally female worlds (say a preschool or an ice skating team) either don't get made, don't get made well, or get made well and don't get recognized. Any way you cut it, Helen Mirren has a point.

Read more: http://blog.smartgirlstupidthings.com/?p#ixzz199dr0Wgw

Benny Lava

I speculate that you have seen this video (given that it has over 20 million views):

BUT, have you seen this analysis?

Choice

Dr. Suess meets Star Wars

To all the girls that let us flop around on top of them.

Speaking of hair...

Clever, clever.

Hair color ads

The internet is weird.

Cthulu sex toys, anyone?

http://necronomicox.com/

Utah

Wikileaks

Stalking cat.

Med School

Harry Potter Rap

"I Hope This Gets To You" was real, not promotion.

This makes me happy.

Source: http://hangout.altsounds.com/news/124096-virtual-love-letter-i-hope-this-gets-to-you-goes-viral-featuring-music-from-the-day.html

Let's be realistic.

I don't care if this is real or just fantastic promotion.

It's worth sharing either way.

Go to this link:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

Hogwarts

Cookie Monster!

To support him, go here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cookie-Monster-should-host-Saturday-Night-Live/130316933655526?v=wall

Seatbelts.

I love these.

The Freedom Language

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Chemistry

Princess Hijab

Batman

George Takei

Obama

Gay Marriage

Hand job.

Handjob, Bland Job, I Don't Understand Job - watch more funny videos

Tight Pants

Spewman

Move Reshape

All Creative Work is Derivative.

Smell like a monster.

Johnny Depp is awesome.

Preventing Sexual Assualt

Preventing Sexual Assault: Tips Guaranteed to Work!

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone "by accident" you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

Courtesy of: Feminist Philosophers

Read more: http://jezebel.com/5657047/insightful-footballer-recommends-shaming-women#ixzz11e6nxtTZ

If Black Women Were White Women by AlienatiOn

In “If Men Could Menstruate,” Gloria Steinem makes the persuasive argument that “Whatever a ‘superior’ group has will be used to justify its superiority, and whatever an ‘inferior’ group has will be used to justify its plight.”

For too long the definition of racism has been a fight between white and black manhood or “who’s the bigger man”, so to speak. We’ve trivialized the existence of gender between both groups of men in favor for discussion of the “bigger issue”.

This has historically enabled white female supremacy—the most unchallenged form of white supremacy—to escape any critical thought.

What if suddenly, instantly, the power of white femininity were transferred to black women?

The answer is clear: Black women would represent value, purity; and based on their natural traits would be worthy of protection and instantly become the objects of universal desire. White women would represent the opposite.

“Beauty tar potion” would become globally popular to get the “black look.” “Dove” would be replaced with a black soap called “Raven” to help exfoliate the skin and bring out subtle hints of melanin.

White female features would be declared violent. Their “jagged” thin lips, “knife sharp” noses, and “harsh” jaw lines would be nature’s way of expressing why men have a natural preference for the soft features of black women. Soft lips, soft cheekbones, and soft, round noses would be proof of natural femininity. Full, pink lips and large, dark eyes would become associated with virginal black girls whose purity must not be compromised. Black female features would thus be said to represent youth.

Straight, blond hair would be considered “wild and unruly” because when the wind blew, it did not stay in place. Women with naturally straight hair would hide their “unruly” and “wild” stick-straight hair in public. The desire for “lightweight hair” that defied gravity would permanently end the use of blow dryers. Keeping one’s natural blond hair wild and straight would become indicative of a political statement.

The anti-aging properties of black female skin combined with soft, curvy bodies would be proof of the overall reproductive health of black women. Scientists would argue that black women were naturally preferred as long term mates and mothers because they were “healthier.” Men’s attraction to women is based on overall health and fertility, after all.

Suddenly, biracial women would be “in” because the hard features of white women wouldn’t prevent the fragile genes of “black beauty” from peeking through. Men would suddenly have the desire to date “ethnic,” non-black women since they would look “closer to black” than blond women—at least they wouldn’t look like white women.

Statistics would equate the fact that white women make up the majority with their “overpowering” and “strong” population. This would be proof that they could handle unsafe neighborhoods. The “strong culture” they would have created amongst themselves would enable them to withstand their lack of protection from predators and criminals. Statisticians would argue that men were attracted to black women innately because they made up a small percentage of the population. “We tend to value what is rare,” they might say.

Men would proclaim that white women deserve sexual objectification because “flat buttocks” allow for deeper penetration. In ghettos across America, men would stand on street corners and yell “Damn! You got a flat ass!” to remind white women of their sexual status in society.

Upper class women would be afraid that their “asses looked flat” since it would represent animalistic and sexual deviance, like white women. Black women’s buttocks, said to protrude farther from the body, would prove that their natural vulnerability made them “less equipped” to handle hardcore sex and rape like white women could.

“I need a strong white woman!” would become a popular “empowering” slogan for exploitative men who rationalized the emotional, financial, and sexual overburdening of white women.

Overweight white nannies would become the “acceptable white women” in popular culture as they do not pose a threat to black female superiority and privilege. Conventionally attractive white women would serve as a sexual threat to black women for single-handedly breaking down the beauty hierarchy.

Hip hop videos would feature men throwing money at “white bitches” bent over in front of the camera to showcase their white asses, eager for deep penetration. Entire songs would be devoted to hatred of “white gold digging bitches” who believed that they were entitled to the financial security in marriage to which black women were entitled. “Penetrable white asses” and “pale-faced hoes” would become the cash commodity for selling entire musical genres.

White women’s “hard” bodies would be deemed more “capable” of fighting off sexual attackers, while the soft curves of black female bodies would become worthy of police protection. White women, despite being at high risk of being victimized by violence and sexual crimes, would not “need” police protection.

Movies would feature black women as the main objects of men’s desire across racial lines while stereotypes of evil, bitter, and oversexed white women would further prove why men of all races simply did not prefer blonds. “We can’t help those to whom we’re attracted,” men would say. “Preference” would become an unconcealed acceptance of discrimination against white women. White women’s anger towards and sadness about the status quo would show their unreasonable jealousy of the innate superiority of black women.

Republicans would ban abortions to protect the virtue of pure, black motherhood and liberals would advocate increasing the number of abortion clinics in “low income” neighborhoods where white women would be the majority. Liberals would claim that white women had “culturally” approved of sexual objectification and were “safe enough” without outside help since they were warned not to touch “in-group issues” with a ten foot pole.

And so on and so forth.

The most important reality is that black feminists would eventually grow tired of being seen as innocent and vulnerable in patriarchy and would fight to erase the commodity of black femininity. “The innocent, submissive, and vulnerable representation of women is what puts us in danger. The rigid category of femininity has contributed to our oppression,” they might argue.

In the back of every black feminist movement we would hear the quiet and dignified pleas of radical white feminists. “But, we do not represent femininity. We are considered strong, incapable of feeling pain, and sexually deviant—but all this has done is increase our likelihood of being in danger. And aren’t we women too?”

As Gloria Steinem wrote, “In short, the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless – and logic has nothing to do with it.”

What remains universally evident is that the many justifications for power and privilege are always inherent, always scientific, and always permeate society to the point that they remain deeply buried within our collective consciousness.

Until someone challenges them.

Source:

http://www.shadowandact.com/?p=14378

Politics

Cheese, etc.

Daily Affirmation

I assume you have all seen Jessica's Daily Affirmation, but in case you have not, here it is:

Hipster parody:

Will.I.Am + Muppets = Adorable

Songsmith

How have I not heard of this before?! Microsoft Songsmith is a program that generates music to go with your singing. Some people decided to plug in classic songs to the program and see what Songsmith came up with. The results are AMAZINGLY horrendous.

Head

Autotune the Ass Kicking.

Virginity.

An interesting pattern.

Sebastian Errazuriz: American Kills

Miniature Earth

Pot

Ready to be depressed.

People said these things. In real life.



Dramatic re-enactment:

Simon Cowell: A Double Feature

ChatRoulette Ads

And you thought reading was dead...

Vermont

cows & cows & cows

Menu psychology

Via the New York Times.

Laziness

Dodge win!

Dodge released this commercial:

Dodge commercial - WITH the monkey @ Yahoo! Video

PETA, in response, released this statement: "[There is] well-documented abuse that young chimpanzees and orangutans suffer in the entertainment industry... Dodge isn't going to dodge a bullet on this one. It needs to pull the ad — and we've contacted the company asking it to do just that."

In response to PETA's response, Dodge released this commercial:

Dodge commercial - without the monkey @ Yahoo! Video

Such karaoke-related passion!

Okay, this is old...

But I saw this for the first time in response to Dr. Laura Schlessinger's use of the n-word and general racist rant. I liked it.



And this:

Drill, Baby, Drill: A Modern Classic

Source: http://outfoxingkarlrove.wordpress.com/2008/11/01/drill-baby-drill-a-trashy-novel-work-of-gop-fanficti-on-236/

Joe the Plumber/Sarah Palin Fanfiction:

“Did somebody call for a plumber?”

“Oh gosh, Joe” exclaimed a startled Sarah. “I didn’t hear you there. I was so busy reading the press and the media. You know, all of them.”

“Permission to come aboard the Straight Talk Express?”

“Granted!” she cried, nasally.

The unlicensed Plumber, his plunger erect, boarded the bus and slid into a seat next to the unindicted Governor.

“I don’t know about you, but my polls sure could use a bump,” he whispered into her ear.

“For sure,” purred the Governor, sliding off her $800 spectacles. “Whaddayasay this time, we play ‘Obama and Ayers’?”

“That’s not working so great anymore. How about ‘Obama and Khalidi’?”

“Ooh, go on,” said the Governor, undoing her Valentino blouse, $2,000 button by $2,000 button.

As the Plumber explores her North Slopes, the Governor ran her manicured fingernails across his manly small-town chest, tracing the embroidered name on his uniform: “SAM.”

“Good golly, Joe, I haven’t felt muscles like these since that moose I shot, skinned, gutted, and dressed–while giving birth to Piper. Or was it Track?”

As the Governor donated the rest of her clothing to charity, the Plumber covered her in kisses, striving to keep her red places red. But just as she reached down to touch his ever-growing capital gains, there was a cry from outside.

“Mom! Mooom!!!!”

“Aw heck,” muttered the Governor. “What do you want, Bristol?”

“My water broke and my contractions are 5 minutes apart. Are you sure I should be taking a campaign bus tour across Pennsylvania?”

“You’ll do it and Florida, too, young lady!” barked the Governor. “Now fly back to Alaska and get ready.”

The Governor turned back to the Plumber, who was ready to fill her pipeline.

“Come on, baby,” he moaned. “Wave your white flag of surrender.”

“Oh yes, Joe, yes! My gosh,” she exhaled in ecstasy, “I think I can see Russia.”

But suddenly, their preconditioned negotiations were interrupted by an angry voice.

“What the hell is this?”

The two of them shot up, decoupling.

“John!”

“Senator!”

“Porking… on my own campaign bus… when we’re down so many points in Ohio…” the Senator hyperventilated, staggering around, clutching his heart. He dropped to the floor, murmuring his last words, “My friends…”

The Governor gazed in horror at the man before her, lying in a very un-pro-Life position.

“Oh doggone it,” she exclaimed. “What the heck do I do now?”